12 Obvious Signs You Have Big Commitment Issues!

ThinkstockPhotos-487554598

If you’re a commitment-phobe, stop the maddening cycle of hurting others. Use these signs, learn to come to terms and make a change for the better.

Browsed through your Rolodex and realized that all your friends are either married, having children, or in serious relationships whereas the biggest decision you have to make right now is whether you want to take home the Merlot or Pinot Noir?

If you are successful, sociable and a ball of fun to be around but still single, there is a chance that you may be a commitment-phone. This term simply refers to someone who is terrified of commitment and who prefers a lifestyle unmarred by having a significant other.

Sure, it may seem that singles have the most fun. One night stands, flirting with the hottest people in the room and dancing the night away at a mega club may seem like the ideal life for many, including you. There is nothing wrong with being single.

However at the end of the day, you have to realize that the reason you are single may not be because your exes suck and do not live up to expectations, it may just be you!

12 clear signs you have commitment issues and ways to fix them

It is not a crime to live for yourself, but you have to know when to admit that you have commitment problems. Only then can you grow out of it, fight your fears, and delve into a mature and adult relationship with someone special *if you want to, of course*.

The vicious cycle of dating and hurting people has to stop. Commitment-phobes have the same modus operandi, so it is relatively easy to spot someone who cannot hold down a long-term relationship. Here are some clear-cut signs that show you have a phobia when it comes to commitment.

#1 You need to maintain independence. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in control of you life and destiny. However, if the thought of someone playing a role in your life’s decision making processes terrifies you, then you have a problem.

 At the end of the day, it all comes down to you not wanting to make sacrifices to please someone else. You feel that if you open your heart, home and life to someone, you will lose all your independence, which is honestly not true. On the contrary you will receive love, security and companionship in return.

#2 You gravitate towards unavailable partners. Probably why all your relationships have not worked out is because you unconsciously gravitate towards partners whom you know will not be there till the end. Whether you date someone much older or younger than you, have massive religious or cultural differences, is married, lives abroad, or is simply another commitment-phobe, you know deep down inside that the relationship will run its course and you do not have to worry about committing long term.

Whether you realize this or not, this is a clear sign that you have commitment issues. All you have to do is look back at your past relationships and you will find that the one similarity they all have is that they were doomed from the start.

#3 You have not been in a committed relationship. Either you have never been in a committed relationship before, or have not been in one for a very long time. Even if you are currently in one, you can truthfully and unflinchingly say, “He/she is not the one. It’s just fun.” No matter which way you look at it, if you cannot bring yourself to fully commit to someone with the goal of it lasting the long term, you probably have commitment issues.

#4 You judge other relationships. As someone with commitment issues, you probably constantly judge other relationships. Whether it is your best friend’s latest squeeze, you neighbor’s fiancée, or your aunt’s 20-year marriage, you are probably full of opinions and judgments, most of them negative. You think that their partners are not good enough and that your friends are compromising their happiness just to be with someone.

You probably also think that the life that they have built with their significant other is dull and uneventful. You are also likely to think, “Who would want that?” and assume that you have a greater sense of independence and fun than them. 

 #5 You fantasize too much. You probably fantasize about living a life of glamor with the perfect partner. More often than not, this perfect person is someone totally unattainable, like a celebrity or someone who is already married. Whether it is cruising the Aegean Sea with Kate Upton or moving to South America with Ryan Gosling, you live in your fantasy world more than in reality. You would rather fantasize about having the perfect relationship with someone unreal than forge a lasting relationship with someone real.

#6 You are picky. The person you see yourself with has to look, talk, dress, behave and think a certain way for you to even give them the time of day. Your list of requirements is long and you would rather be single than “settle” for someone who does not check all the boxes. Every time you meet someone, you brush them off as unsuitable because they do not meet your requirements.

There is nothing wrong with having standards, but what you have to realize is that the perfect partner is a myth and that your self obsessed need to control, criticize and judge other people is an indication that you have issues with commitment.

#7 You have a broken heart. If you are still reeling from your last relationship, there is a chance that you are not ready to commit. For example, you may have been deeply in love with someone and even went so far as to believe that that person was the one. However, things took a turn for the worse when your partner realized that you were not the one and decided to end things.

You probably figured that if you built a wall around your feelings and never let anyone else in again, you would be just fine. If this is you, then you definitely have commitment issues. No matter what happened in the past, you need to realize that there are plenty of fish in the sea and if things did not work out, it was probably just not meant to be. Wake up, snap out of your self-created misery and move on.

#8 You settle because you know it won’t last. It does not necessarily mean that commitment-phobes cannot be in relationships. On the contrary, many like the love and companionship that comes with being with someone. The only difference is that people with commitment issues do not see things long term and prefer living by the adage, “We’ll see where it goes. It’s fun for now.”

If you have a tendency to date for fun because you know it will not be long term, sleep around, or are in an open relationship, you probably have commitment issues. Settling into relationships that you know will not last is a definite sign that you cannot commit.

 #9 You have qualities that scare off potentials. Whether it is your loud and abrasive behavior, or nature of your job that always takes you on the road, you probably exhibit qualities that scare off possible spouses. Without even knowing it, you build obstacles that discourage potential partners from venturing in any further. This is a way for you to unconsciously build distance between yourself and others. By doing so, you lessen the risk of being intimate with someone.

#10 You always kid yourself. You probably always spew so-called philosophical mumbo jumbo like, “I believe that people have more than one soulmate,” or “With seven billion people in the world, I am sure there is more than just one love for me out there.” All these sayings are just to maintain and justify your single-dom.

 You probably believe that you are an absolute catch and that no one really deserves you. Additionally, you believe that your past failed relationships are never your fault but always the other person’s. You have to take a step back and analyze your attitude. Perhaps, the reason why you are saying these things is because you are rationalizing your own commitment issues.

#11 You make excuses. This applies to situations that require you to think about the future. An example is meeting your partner’s parents for the first time. Even the idea terrifies you as you know that meeting the folks means taking a small, albeit next step to solidifying the relationship to a more serious status. You will make up excuses to get out of it, even resorting to falling off the grid for a few days. The same can be said for other scenarios that force you to think about the future.

#12 You love the chase. Those with commitment issues get their kicks out of the chase. Once they get the guy or girl that they have been working so hard to get, they lose interest. If you are this way, you are probably a bonafide expert at passionate yet very short relationships. This is because the moment things hint at getting serious, you run for the hills.

At the end of the day, there is no shame in admitting that you have commitment issues. No one can force you to be someone you are not.

Advertisements

kokomaster

While the internet is currently trending with Davido’s scandal, the Psquare’s brothers split cannot be easily swept under the carpet. In the past week, fans and concerned Nigerians have had to deal with the reality of not seeing their favourite twin brothers, Peter and Paul, perform together anymore.

Reports that made round the internet said, Peter Psquare had signed a termination letter of the contract he had with Psquare, to be legally separated from Paul, after he had threatened to kill him and his family. According to Peter, he no longer felt safe with his brother and so, he demanded to go his way.

Shortly after the termination letter surfaced online, a video also surfaced. In the video, the Psquare brothers were engaged in a verbal attack that almost led to a physical combat at their lawyer’s office, Keyamo. However, Keyamo immediately reacted to the surfaced video with the claims that the scene from the video happened some years back.

The Psquare brother’s split is not well received from a lot of their colleagues as many of them had several things to say about their fight, urging them to make peace and come back as one. Just recently, D’banj also weighed in his thoughts on the fight and has blamed it on Social media. According to D’banj, the social media is responsible for fuelling the rift with several negative reports, recounting that, the same thing happened when he exited from Don Jazzy’s Mo’ Hits Records.

In a recent chat with newsmen, when he was asked to air his opinion about the on-going crisis, between the brother,s he said, “The media should sit back and let them settle their issues amicably. They’ re making it worse by writing all sorts of stories about them. Brothers will always fight and get back as brothers, but the media should not write negative stories in a bid to make money off the headlines. Remember I almost became a victim of the media back then when I left Mo’ Hits, but I thank my stars that I pulled through and I am still here.”

3 Rules Of Having A Successful Friends With Benefits Affair

 

So. You don’t want something serious, yet you want someone at hand for s3x, gifts etc.

But what are the golden rules you must adhere to?

1. Don’t Fall in Love – no matter how exciting and intriguing it might be for you, understand that the next person may not necessarily be feeling this way. DO NOT FALL IN LOVE!

2. Keep Your Affair Very Secret – It is all well and good to trust your friends. But understand that the moment you tell them you are engaged in this kind of affair, tongues would begin to wag.

3. Know When To Quit; Know when to run. Understand when to leave a relationship that has run its course.

Thank you for reading.

Popular rapper and bearer of the “King of the South” title, Yung6ix recently spent about 4 million Naira on drinks at a night club in Lagos. The rapper posted a video on social media, showing-off the bill with multiple zeros boldly written on it. According to him, he was drinking to his accomplishments but a lot of observers are of the opinion that the money should have been put to better use. What do you think, share your thoughts?

Yung6ix-1-1-300x300.jpg

Usher Raymond Finally Reacts To Herpes Lawsuit

usher

Following viral reports over the wide claims that American singer, Usher Raymond alledgely infected two women and a man with herpes, the singer has finally responded to the claims by filing a legal document against a Georgian woman who accused him of infecting her with Herpes in April.

According to TMZ, Usher demanded that the $20million lawsuit filed against him be tossed out because the woman has no proof he gave her the incurable disease. “Her lawsuit says nothing about whether she had been tested prior to their alleged sexual encounter since a previous sexual partner very well may have already infected her.”

Recalled that some months back, after Usher Raymond was slammed with a lawsuit for infecting two women with herpes, who could only be identified with the name Jane Doe, he has been silent about the accusations and claim and has been seen several times in a happy mood with his wife, admist the claims

Even If I Quit Music For 10 Years, Nobody Would Take My Crown Or Sit On My Throne – @Olamide_ybnl

image

Olamide has thrown caution in the wind, Says nobody can take his crown or sit on his Throne even if he stop making music for the next 10 years – You dey hear?
The YBNL Boss ‘Olamide’ made this known while speaking with Naijaloaded over the weekend.
He further says that upcoming artiste are not working to improve their craft any longer, instead they focus on making money within a very short
period of time. According to him, No Rapper can push him off or
oppress him as far as the music industry is concern because they dish out wack flows and weak punchlines and those that are good enough
does not have the needed street love compares to him.
He rounded up the Interviewm Olamide says “Street Ti Take Over” and further assure his Fans that it will take anyone trying to get ahead of him about 20 years to delete his songs off the Street and another 30 years to finally make Nigerians forget
about him. Share your thought about this – “Do You Think Olamide Said The Right Thing?”

Drop your comments.

Posted by Cheun

EFCC seize Amosu’s $2.15m hospital, hand it over to Air Force

image

The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission has handed over to the Nigerian Air Force an hospital with medical equipment worth about $2.15m which was seized from a former Chief of Air Staff, Air Marshal Adesola Amosu (retd.),
The hospital, St. Solomon Hospital, which is located on Adeniyi Jones Avenue, Ikeja, Lagos, is said to have state-of-the-art equipment including a Magnetic Resonance Imaging machine which costs well over $1m.
According to Punch the EFCC could not manage the property and therefore decided to hand it over to the Nigerian Air Force medical unit.
He said, “The hospital has very expensive equipment including an MRI machine which is very rare. However, we could not manage the hospital so we handed it over to the air force pending the outcome of Amosu’s trial. It is assumed that the money used in buying the hospital was stolen from the air force.”
Other properties seized from Amosu included a house on Adeyemo Alakija Street, GRA Ikeja worth N250m; a duplex at House 11, Peace Court Estate, GRA Ikeja worth N110m; a N40m property located at NAF Harmony Estate, Asokoro base; a five-bedroomed house at Valley NAF Estate, Port Harcourt, worth N33m and a N95m house on Umaru Dikko Street, Jabi.
The Federal Government has also commenced moves to seize Amosu’s house at 50 Tenterden Grove, NW41TH, London worth about £2m.
Amosu as well as a former Chief of Accounts and Budgeting in NAF, Air Vice Marshal Jacob Adigun (retd.); and a former Director of Finance and Budget, Air Commodore Olugbenga Gbadebo (retd.), are currently standing trial before a Federal High Court for allegedly stealing N22.8bn from the coffers of the Nigerian Air Force between 2014 and 2015.
The commission has seized 33 properties they allegedly bought with stolen funds.
Documents made available to our correspondent showed that besides the hospital, the EFCC had seized plazas, schools, mansions, farms and a quarry from Amosun, Adigun and Gbadebo.
While almost N2.835bn cash has been recovered from Amosu alone, Gbadebo has returned N190m. Adigun’s wife, returned some money as well.
The document further stated that properties recovered from Adigun were worth N9.6bn.
Calculations by our correspondent showed that the cash and assets which the air force men might forfeit permanently, add up to about N15bn which is more than three quarters of what they allegedly stole.
They have, however, pleaded not guilty to the charges.

Posted by Cheun